Archive Opinion The Orion

Buis’ Bits: Terminated

August 1, 2005

If I had $50 million, I wouldn’t use it to make millions of people tell me I’m wrong.

Our wonderful governor, however, just wrote himself into a blockbuster hole.

The script called for him to jump into California and tear the dirty hippies out here a new one. He was supposed to make the unions bow to his every desire. He was supposed to break the liberal stranglehold.

It almost looked like he could do it. Around 9 p.m. Tuesday night, he managed to lead in three of the eight propositions, including his union buster, Proposition 75.

That was the high point of the night. Every time I’d refresh the screen and the votes would be updated, another .1 percent of support would drop across the board, like a knife slowly being driven between the ribs of Ah-nold’s grand scheme.

Two hours later, none of the blade was showing.

Nearly the entire ballot ballot was on life support by 11 p.m., with only a chance of the union masher being able to squeak through with a slim majority. A few minutes into the hour though, the dream was over.

It was quiet enough outside that I could hear a governor’s bulging biceps clenching in rage and his skin turning green, saying, “You won’t like me when I’m mad.”

Wait, that’s Lou Ferrigno’s bit. They were both in “Pumping Iron,”so it’s only natural to get them confused. The important part though is the Governator had to not be a happy camper.

A few of his handlers probably told him it’d be a great idea to get his issues out in the open and finally make the reform he promised for Cully-fornia a reality. He made one big mistake.

He went after the wrong unions.

Teamsters are a toss-up as are many other unions that are easy targets. That would make Prop. 75 an easier victory and may have given the “Last Action Hero” a chance to overcome his opponents.

But no, the nurses, teachers and firefighters drew his wrath and made him look more like Conan the Barbarian.

Apparently the Kindergarten Cop has been in a self-absorbed coma the last four-plus years and missed the whole Sept. 11-heroic-firefighter-sacrifice thing in New York. People still respect the magic public workers do every day.

We haven’t knocked the debt that can’t be repaid into the annals of history like Arnold Strong is trying to do with his father’s high rank in the Nazi party. Lest we never forget.

It’s going to be difficult to forget this kind of blunder when the elections come up next year. It’s not just because of the attacks on unions and education. When a person blows $50 million on a failed political makeover, it’s not too easy to sweep under the rug.

Any good fiscal conservative must be ready to vomit when thoughts of 2006 enter their minds. Just like the rest of the nation, California is mired in debt and the situation isn’t getting better, despite all the money being thrown at it.

This last election was like a shoulder rocket to Dutch’s shoulder from a predator he couldn’ t see coming. Now there’s only one thing he can say to the rest of the Republican party before they’re lost too.

“Get to da choppah!”